is a creepy reminder of so many things and people you'd rather forget [crap good]

won't let me upload videos of myself violently masturbating to Golden Girls dubbed over in German [crap good]

tries to monopolize our digital lives [crap good]

makes people act like they have far more interesting lives than they actually do [crap good]

filled with sad, crappy applications like Farmville [crap good]

lets me pretend i'm 17 [crap good]

makes you think you have true friends [crap good]

doesn't give you control over people tagging you in photos in which you look really bad until it's too late [crap good]

stops people from doing any work [crap good]

shows me how many of my old friends from school were actually gay [crap good]

is for people without a life [crap good]

is hard to write applications for if you don't know where to start [crap good]

is not a book [crap good]

is like cock waving competition for so many [crap good]

is full of fags [crap good]

overrated [crap good]

means that profile photos of exes with their babies and awesome partners keep showing up in mutual friends lists [crap good]

shows you how fucking boring people really are [crap good]

has even sunk its talons into this shitty site [crap good]

fails to protect your identity [crap good]

would be too easy to simply call it 'Faecebook' [crap good]

exposes your level of popularity [crap good]